The Misfits
by oxyloged
Summary: Jonus and Alana decide to start an adventurer's guild. Not everything goes to plan mind you. A crazy Nord, a strange Breton, a self absorbed Altmer and a poor Khajiit. Getting the guild started promises to be an adventure in itself.
1. Recruiting

Hey guys. This is my brand new FanFic entitles 'The Misfits'. It will contain all orginal characters and some unique locales also. Hope you enjoy, please review.

* * *

"This is ridiculous." Sighed Jonus.

Jonus sat on a rock, his coin pouch emptied into his hands. He was a young Imperial man, of average height, and dark brown hair, with had a healthy tan and a fine stubble across his chin and cheeks. his leather armor and steel longsword were wet with blood and he sported several minor wounds from his latest adventure.

He sighed again, "Three hours in those damn ruins, and we walk away with twenty two gold pieces."

"It could be worse." Said Alana, "We could have died."

Alana stood next to Jonus, smiling. She was a young Dunmer with striking features and dark violet hair that she kept in a ponytail. Alana too was outfitted in leather armor (though of finer quality than Jonus') and she wore a short sword at her side. Over her shoulder was her trusted longbow and quiver full of arrows. As usual, she had managed to emerge from the dungeon without a spot of gore on her, and with nothing more than a few scratches.

The two stood outside of an Ayleid ruin that they had just raided. Adventurer's by trade, Alana and Jonus had been working together for almost four years, and in all that time had barely managed to make ends meet. Over the last few months Jonus had become increasingly agitated by this fact.

"You're right, it could have been worse, we could have died, and all for the sake of twenty two gold pieces. No Ayleid artifacts, no long lost treasure, no nothing."

"Well, adventuring is hit and miss."

"Just miss in our case. You know what we need? We need some sort of adventurers guild. Some sort of central authority that could keep track of which dungeons have been raided, give out useful advice, and give adventurer's a place to sleep."

Alana looked up from her thoughts and turned to face Jonus.

"Why don't we start one?" she said.

"Us? Start an adventurer's guild? We're the worst adventurer's ever!"

"No. I'm pretty sure that corpse down in the ruins belonged to a worse adventurer than us."

Jonus shivered, thinking of the skeletal corpse they had found, "I never knew a skeleton could look... scared."

"Well you learn something new everyday. But really, we should start a guild."

Jonus just shook his head. Alana sighed, then she had a thought.

"If we started a guild," She said in a smooth, sly tone. "we could collect guild dues."

Jonus paused In thought and then spoke. "You're right, then we could retire from dungeon delving for good. But where would we have to go to start a guild?"

* * *

2 days later - Imperial City - The Office of Imperial Affairs

"Ok, let's take a look at this then."

The aged man in robes tapped his fingers on his desk as he read through Alana's and Jonus' application letter.

"Mhmm, mhmm, This all looks in order. I just have to... wait a second..."

"What? What is it?" Jonus asked.

Jonus and Alana were sitting across the desk from the man. Both looking extremely bored, which wasn't surprising as they had just spent the better part of three hours filling out paperwork. Both Jonus and Alana looked out of place in their filthy adventuring gear, sitting in a spotless and well organized office.

"No this won't do at all." Said the man, "There's only two names on here, you can't start a guild with only two people."

"Well, we would get more after we started the guild obviously."

"I'm sorry... Jonus is it? But you need at least six members before you can officially start a sanctioned guild. Imperial legislation."

"Well, what do we do then?"

"I don't know." The man leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over behind his head. "Go recruit some fresh blood down at the inn?"

"The inn? It can't be that simple."

* * *

3 hours later - Imperial City Waterfront - The Bloated Float inn

Jonus and Alana sat patiently at a table by the back wall, the hull of the ship-turned-inn creaking around them. Next to the two was a freshly painted sign that read "Sign up for adventure. The Imperial Adventurer's guild." So far they were the only two on the ship, besides the inn keeper.

"Alana, I can't help but notice the distinct lack of, you know, people."

"Give it time, the sun hasn't even set yet, people come to inn's for two reasons, to sleep and drink, both of which are better done at night."

"Why are we on this... thing anyway? They have perfectly good inns inside the city."

"One, this is the waterfront, and every adventurer worth their weapon comes through the waterfront at some point."

"And two?"

"Two, the owner of this inn owes me a favor, and no other inn in the city would let us recruit in their establishment."

"I see, we'll I'm starting to..."

Before Jonus could finish, the door to the Inn slammed open, and in stepped a hulk of man. A seven foot tall Nord with powerful muscles, loose blonde hair, and scars across his face and arms. The man wore a short sleeved shirt and poor trousers, as well as a heavy steel gauntlet on each hand. He looked around as he stepped up to the bar.

Jonus leaned in to whisper to Alana, "This looks promising."

The Nord moved up to the bar and didn't say a word, he just glared at the man behind the counter. The innkeeper slowly reached down for a glass and put it on the table, never breaking eye contact with the Nord. He pulled a bottle out from behind the bar and began to undo the stopper, when the Nord slowly shook his head. The innkeeper gulped and put the glass away, feeling around under the counter for a few seconds before presenting the huge Nord with a significantly larger glass. The Nord merely shook his head again. The innkeeper, sweating in fear by this point, replaced the glass and reached behind the counter again, this time presenting a bucket, which he placed upon the counter. The Nord looked to the bucket, then to the innkeeper, then to the bucket again, then he laughed softly and nodded his head.

The innkeeper sighed and began filling the bucket with ale. While he was doing that, the Nord turned around and scanned the room. He spotted Jonus and Alana and cautiously made his way over. Jonus gulped as he was engulfed In the man's huge shadow, he looked even bigger close up. The man stared intensely at the sign, reading every word slowly. Suddenly he slammed his fist on the table (Causing the table to buckle and splinter) and bellowed in a deep voice.

"I LIKE IT!"

Jonus was stunned, "You..."

"Sign me up!"

Suddenly a smile came across Jonus' face and he pulled out a sheet of paper and a quill.

"Ok, name?"

"Ragnor, the berserker."

Jonus quickly scribbled it down "...berserker, ok. Skills?"

"Uhhh... berserking?"

"Of course, that makes sense."

Jonus quickly scribbled it down. He then stood up and offered his hand. Ragnor took Jonus' hand in a powerful grip and shook vigorously.

"Well, Mr. Ragnor." Jonus said, massaging his crushed hand. "Welcome to the guild. All we need is your fee of thirty gold pieces."

"Ha! Good one, I haven't even got a single drake to my name."

The innkeeper looked up at Ragnor, then down at the bucket full of ale he was holding, the man shook his head and went to toss the Ale out a window.

"Do it and you die little man." Said Ragnor, without even looking at the inn keeper.

The man froze in place for a few seconds before slowly moving back to the bar.

"O...k, well Ragnor, you haven't got money to pay your dues, that might be a problem."

Alana leaned in towards Jonus.

"Jonus, I think we can waive the fee in this case. Ragnor is our first recruit of course, and I'm sure he'd be quite the asset."

"She's right, watch this."

Ragnor walked over to the bar, lifted the bucket of Ale, and downed the whole thing in less than a minute.

"Yeep." Said Ragnor, followed by a loud burp. "Not many people left that can do that."

Ragnor moved back over to Jonus and Alana's table, swaying about and trying his best not to destroy the furniture.

Jonus sighed, "Ok, ok, I'll waive the fee this once.

"WOOO!" cheered Ragnor, throwing his arms out wide, one of his gauntlets colliding with the mast of the ship, which began to splinter. He burped again and moved behind the table, pulling up a chair and sitting between Jonus and Alana. He placed his arms around the shoulder's of both of them. Alana was trying to contain her laughter, while Jonus just sat there with a blank expression on his face.

"Aye the adventurer's life is the life for me I tell ya." said Ragnor, trying to sound profound.

"Innkeeper, another bucket!"

* * *

1 hour later

Over the next hour, small group of patrons had gathered at the inn. For the most part they ignored Jonus and Alana's recruitment table. Ragnor, getting drunker by the minute was currently standing up behind the table, trying to lead the patrons in a song of his own creation, but they purposely ignored the enormous intoxicated Nord. After a few minutes, Ragnor got bored and sat down again between Jonus and Alana.

"I tell ya, this adventuring ain't as exciting as you made it sound."

"We haven't started yet Ragnor."

"Ahh right then, makes sense that."

A few moments later, the door to the inn opened and in stepped a young Breton lady in dark red robes. She was shorter than most Bretons, and had short cut black hair. She glanced around the room quickly and spotted the recruiting table. Curious, the woman made her way over, passing by the bar and ordering a glass of wine. The woman stepped up to the table and read the sign.

"Welcome, young lady. My name is Jonus, it seems you're..."

"I like her!" Interrupted Ragnor. "I like her a lot!"

"You do, do you?" Said Alana to Ragnor.

"Yes! Look at that figure damn it."

Jonus and Alana were stunned for a second.

"How dare you!" snapped the Breton Woman. "You men are all alike, chauvinistic, gutter minded, Rude, loud, big, huge, manly muscles covered in battle scars, with that flowing golden hair on... No!" She shouted, shaking her head. "Stop distracting me Nord."

"I'm sorry for Ragnor's behaviour ma'am, he's had too much to drink. As I said my name is Jonus, are you interested in joining our guild?"

"It would give me something to do with all my time. Okay sign me up."

"Okay good, name?"

"Ellie."

"Good, skills?"

"Magic, especially destruction."

"Okay, that'll certainly come in handy. Not interested in the Mage's guild are you?"

"Oh, well, they don't really tolerate my type there."

"What type would that be exactly?" interrupted Alana.

Ellie mumbled something under her breath.

"Did you say necromancer?"

"I SAID NECROPHILE!"

The inn suddenly fell silent.

"HA!" laughed Ragnor, breaking the silence.

"Oh dear, I mean uhhh, I uhhh."

"It's perfectly fine Ellie, your uhhh, preferences are none of the guild's concern" Replied Jonus, glancing angrily at Ragnor.

The Inn patrons eventually went back to their conversations, and Jonus finished filling out Ellie's details.

"Okay, well there's just the matter of a thirty drake sign up fee."

"Ohh, actually I spent my last coin on this wine."

"Ohh, well then I'm sorry but..." Jonus stopped mid sentence as Ragnor leaned in and whispered something in his ear. "What do you mean you'll pay for her? You don't have any money."

Ragnor produced a pouch from his pocket, it was full of gold coins. Ragnor just smiled and laughed.

"Swine." Said Jonus taking the pouch from Ragnor and counting the coins. "Well, I guess your fee is payed up Ellie, welcome to the guild."

"Well thank you very much. I can't wait to start adventuring."

Ragnor stood up and reached his hand across the table.

"Happy to..."

"I WASN'T THANKING YOU NORD!"

Ellie slapped Ragnor hard, and the drunk Nord lost his balance, falling to the ground. He rose to his feet a few moments later sporting a small cut which had been earned on a loose nail on the inn's floor.

"Ragnor are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." Ragnor said.

he reached into his pocket, and pulled out a pouch of yellow powder which he began rubbing into his wound.

"Ragnor." Said Alana. "Is that sulfur? I don't think that's a very good..."

Ragnor struck his thumb against his finger, the steel gauntlet causing a tiny spark which ignited the sulfur. Ragnor let out a cry of pain, which turned into a hearty laugh. Ellie held her hand over her chest, her eyes wide open, clearly excited by the act, while Jonus and Alana tried to wave away the foul stench of rotten eggs.

"You... cauterise your wounds with sulfur?" Said Jonus, shocked.

"That's why you signed me up, because I'm tough." Ragnor laughed again.

Alana looked over to Ellie who was staring at Ragnor, suddenly Ellie noticed Alana and her stance changed considerably.

"Barbaric Nord." Said Ellie, feigning disgust.

* * *

3 hours later

The crowd at the inn had begun to thin out, some went home, others headed below deck to sleep, only a few remained, still drinking. Jonus sat with his arms propped up on the table, waiting for more recruits. On his left, Alana rested her head in her palm and yawned. On jonus' right, Ragnor had fallen asleep, his head resting on the table, emitting a loud snore. At the other end of the table sat Ellie, her legs crossed and her head held high, occasionally glancing over at Ragnor.

After a few minutes, the door to the inn opened once again, and in stepped an Altmer man, his white hair in a tight knot atop his head. He wore fine silk clothing, quite out of place for the Bloated Float, and had a large pouch hanging from his belt. Moving over to the bar, the Altmer asked for a cup of water and looked over to the recruiting table. Jonus nudged Alana with his elbow, and drew her attention to the Altmer standing across the room.

"it's about time." She said. "I nearly fell asleep."

The Elf took his water and headed over to the table.

"What's all this about then?" He asked. "Adventurer's guild? Never heard of it."

"Uhhh, we're new." Said Jonus, trying to avoid admitting that the guild didn't technically exist yet.

"I haven't been adventuring in years." Said the man. "Never had much of a taste for it myself. Walking around in damp caves fighting ghosts, or climbing mountain ranges just to unseat some wizard from his throne."

"Well if you're not interested..."

"Oh believe me, I am so incredibly disinterested that it boggles the mind to ponder as to how one could be so uninterested in something."

"Do you have something to say elf?" Said Ellie getting angry, "Or just an unending torrent of words?"

The Altmer chuckled to himself softly before speaking again.

"I was going to say, that despite my lack of interest for so called, adventures, it would be irresponsible of me to not lend my skills to you."

"And what skills are those exactly?" Asked Jonus.

"I, am a healer."

Ragnor began to stir, after a few moments he lifted his head from the table.

"Another mage! Why do we need mages for? They're weak!"

"Ragnor!" Alana snapped. "Ellie's sitting right here."

"No, he's right." said Ellie, standing up. "Look at these weak magely arms."

Ellie pulled her sleeve up past her elbow, revealing her thin arm.

"And these weak magely legs."

She pulled up her robe to her knee, displaying her skinny legs. Then she noticed Ragnor staring intently at her.

"Don't stop." He said.

"You disgust me Nord!" Ellie let her robe fall back into place and walked away from the table. "I'm going to get some fresh air."

The Altmer cleared his throat, "Actually I never said I was a mage, I said I was a healer."

"So... you can't use magic?" Asked Jonus.

"I weave magic and science to create advanced treatments for critically wounded or sick personnel."

"I like him!" Shouted Ragnor, before falling back into his sleep, his head colliding with the table with a heavy thump.

"Well, I guess we can use someone with your skills." Said Jonus. "Just please tell me you have thirty drakes to cover your sign up fee."

"If I had thirty coins, I wouldn't very well be In this run down establishment would I?"

"Of course you don't have the fee, well I'm sorry Mister..."

"Corwynn."

"Yes, well I'm sorry Mister Corwynn but I'm afraid that..."

Alana interrupted, whispering into Jonus' ear.

"Jonus, we can't really afford to turn people down just because they haven't got money. Should I remind you that we still need two more members."

Jonus sighed.

"Okay, you're in."

"Very well, I'm sure you'll excuse me if I don't get too excited."

"Of course."

* * *

3 hours later

The inn was well and truly empty by this point, besides the five adventurers. Jonus was leaning back in his chair with a hand on his cheek, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open. Alana had fallen asleep in her chair, her head resting against Jonus' shoulder. Ellie was resting her head on her crossed arms which sat upon the table, her gaze drifting from Ragnor, to the rest of the group, and back again. Corwynn sat near Jonus and seemed to be inspecting his fingernails very slowly. Of the five, only Ragnor was up and about, seemingly sobered up, he was attempting to break his own record for pull-ups, using a cross beam near the ceiling, the beam creaked and groaned with every repetition, while the inn-keeper watched him closely, wondering what he had done to deserve having this behemoth visited upon him

After a few minutes Jonus gently nudged Alana, waking her.

"Come on, it's time we packed up and got some rest, the sun will rise in a few hours."

Alan yawned. "Don't be upset Jonus, three members is pretty good for our first day."

"What you need is more exposure." Said Ellie, lifting her head from the table. "You should have set up at one of the inn's INSIDE the city."

"I know." Said Jonus. "But this is the best we could do."

At that moment, to everyone's surprise, the door to the inn opened for the first time in hours. In stepped a khajiit. The khajiit had light colored fur, with dark stripes on his face running horizontally, he wore only simple cothing, a short sleeved shirt and dark trousers, and carried a long walking stick. The Khajiit spotted Ragnor pulling himself up to the cross beam, the Khajiit's eyes widened and his ears flattened against his head. Ragnor merely turned to the Khajiit and winked. He shook his head and walked over to the bar.

"Pardon this one for a late intrusion, but have you seen a man named Allen?" Asked the Khajiit.

The bartender responded, pulling his gaze away from Ragnor. "I'm afraid I've never heard of him."

"Then this one shall take leave."

The Khajiit began to leave, but spotted the recruiting sign. He tilted his head as he read the sign, seemingly interested, then began to approach the table.

Jonus smiled and stood to greet the khajiit.

"Welcome friend, I take it you are interested in joining?"

"This one finds the prospect of adventure to be interesting."

"Well that's good to hear, we can sign you up right now if you like."

The Khajiit thought to himself for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"Okay then." Said Jonus preparing his quill. "Let's just get your name."

"Ja'niir."

"Okay, Ja'niir, that's with two i's I take it. Now what skills do you possess?"

"This one has learned martial arts from a sect of monks deep in the mountains, that enemies of this one may be defeated."

"MONKS! HA" Ragnor shouted. "They think they know a thing or two about fighting? I've beaten enough monks in my time."

Ragnor dropped from the ceiling and approached Ja'niir.

"Go on then cat-man, first shot is free, let's see if you can beat me."

"Ragnor!" Snapped Jonus. "This really isn't..."

He was cut short as Ja'niir hissed and swung his staff around, breaking it across Ragnors chest. Ragnor didn't flinch, as Ja'niir stared dumb founded at his broken weapon. Everything was silent for a few moments, until Ragnor roared and punched Ja'niir in the gut with his steel gauntlet, knocking the Khajiit right over the table and into Jonus.

"HA! I LIKE HIM!" Shouted Ragnor. "Hitting a Nord like that, that takes guts. You're in."

Jonus and Ja'niir untangled themselves and got up from the ground.

"Ragnor! Was that really necessary?"

"Yes."

"Wha... shutup Ragnor!" Said Jonus, fuming. "I'm sorry for our Nordic friends behaviour, I can get you signed up right away if you like."

Ja'niir was clutching his stomach in pain. "Perhaps this one has come to the wrong place? Certainly another beating would not be welcome."

"Don't worry, Ragnor won't do that again, will you Ragnor?" He asked angrily.

Ragnor sighed. "Fine, whatever."

"If the Nord can be reigned in, the Ja'niir agrees to join."

"Okay good, good, the sign up fee is... you don't have the money do you?"

Ja'niir shook his head.

"Of course."

Jonus looked over to Alana, who shrugged her shoulders.

Jonus sighed. "Okay, we can waive the fee, again, welcome to the guild Ja'niir."

* * *

The next morning - Imperial City - The Office of Imperial Affairs

"Mhmm, mhmm, this all looks fine to me."

The robed man looked up to the company gathered in front of him. An Imperial, a Dunmer, a Breton, an Altmer, a Khajiit, and an enormous Nord. With the exception of Corwynn on his fine outfit, the rest all looked extremely out of place.

Corwynn leaned over and spoke softly to Jonus. "You didn't tell me that the guild didn't exist yet."

"Well it will in a few minutes, no harm done."

"I hope you're right."

"Okay." Said the robed man. "We can get you a guild charter straight away."

"Oh thank god." Sighed Jonus, "I was worried there would be some other..."

"As soon as we get your guild creation fee."

The room instantly went silent, Jonus was staring at the man behind the desk, and everyone else was staring at him.

"Guild... creation fee?" Asked Jonus.

"Of course. Standard five thousand drakes, and an additional two thousand per year."

"Well would you look at that." Said Corwynn smugly.

"Do you have the money with you sir?"

"Well, not as such no." Replied Jonus.

"Well, we can't very well get your guild started without the fee being paid."

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE!" Shouted Ragnor, raising his fist. "WE AIN'T GUNNA PAY THE FEE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN..."

* * *

Two minutes later - Imperial City - The Office of Imperial Affairs

"I am so sorry for Ragnor's behaviour sir." Apologised Jonus.

"There's, no need for it, that desk was going to be replaced soon anyway."

The office was in a state of chaos, Ragnor had gone berserk and smashed almost everything in the room, including the heavy oak desk, before being dragged out by six imperial guards. Ellie had gone accompanied the guards and Ragnor to a holding cell, while Ja'niir lay on the ground unconscious, having been struck accidently by Ragnor's mailed fist.

"As for your guild, I'm afraid the rules haven't changed, despite the Nord's... attempt at diplomacy."

"So, we can't start our guild until we get the money?"

"I'm afraid not."

"I'm beginning to wonder if we should even NEED to be sanctioned. What benefits do we get?"

"Well, of course only a sanctioned adventuring guild can adventure."

"What?"

"Adventuring was outlawed."

"Umm... when."

The, man knelt down and moved some rubbish aside, finding a scroll, he unrolled it and read it closely.

"Hmmm, three hundred and seven years ago."

"WHAT! It's been illegal for three hundred years? But I've known plenty of adventurers."

"All outlaws I'm afraid."

"But I've openly proclaimed I'm an adventurer... in front of Imperial guards."

"Well of course no one STOPS adventurers, they're good for the economy."

"Wait, so it's illegal to adventure, but no one's going to stop us."

"Yes."

"So we don't need to be sanctioned in order to adventure?"

"I'm afraid you do, Imperial Legislation."

"But no one's going to stop us?"

"Correct."

"So we can go and adventure."

"No."

"Because it's illegal?"

"Yes."

"But no one will stop us."

"Correct."

"So... why can't we adventure."

"It's illegal."

"But..."

"Sir, if you continue this pointless line of conversation I will have you arrested."

"He's right, stop." Said Alana, "You're beginning to hurt my head."


	2. Skyrim Manor

Hey guys. Sorry for the HUGE gap in between parts one and two. I promise that you won't have to wait that long again. In fact, I may work double time to get part three up i nthe next few days just to reward you all for your patience. Anyway, enjoy part two of the Misfits, and as always, feedback is appreciated. (bad or good).

* * *

The Nord sat on the floor of his cold, dark cell. How long had he been here? A week, a month, longer? Time held no meaning when confined by these four stone walls. If they had at least given him a cell with a window, then he could judge the passing of the days by the setting of the sun. Ragnor sighed and pulled his knees in towards him, this is where he would end his days to be sure.

Outside his cell, the heavy door at the end of the hall opened, letting in a stream of light, causing Ragnor to block his eyes with his enormous hand. Two figures stepped in, one obviously a guard, but the other…

"Jonus… is that you?"

"It's me Ragnor."

"You… you're here to let me go?"

Jonus nodded as the Guard unlocked the cell door. Ragnor rose slowly to his feet and moved towards Jonus. The two headed out the door up to a desk where a guard was filling in some paper work.

"Okay." Said the guard. "Your bounty has been paid up, you're free to go. You're belongings are right here."

The guard reached beneath the desk and bought up a sack which he emptied onto the desktop.

"One pair of steel gauntlets, and a pouch of… sulphur?"

The guard looked up at Ragnor, slightly confused. the Huge Nord just ignored him and took his possessions from the desk, taking his gauntlets and strapping them to his hands for the first time in so long. Jonus lead him down a long corridor, past some more guards, and finally through a huge gate that led outside, Ragnor was almost blinded by the sun.

"It's beautiful, I never thought I'd seen the sun again."

Ragnor looked at Jonus, who was looking back at him with an odd expression on his face.

"Jonus, tell me, how many days have I been locked up?"

"Uhhh… Ragnor, don't go all crazy on me, I need you."

"Just tell me, how much of my life have I spent in that dark cell."

"Uhhh, half an hour."

"What?"

"Ragnor, you were arrested less than an hour ago, I came right over to the prison when we were done in the Imperial offices, you remember that office right? The one you trashed?"

"Yes… YES! It's all coming back to me now, from so long ago…"

"Half an hour Ragnor! Half a freaking hour and eighty septims ago, which, by the way Ragnor, was all the money me and Alana had between us."

"The years have been kind to you Jonus my friend."

"NO! NO! You're not listening, it's been…" Jonus paused for a second before sighing. "Yeah, sure, it's been three years Ragnor, three long years."

"Three years, such a long time." Ragnor looked up to the sky.

"Whatever you say Nord."

"Tell me, what of our friends, and the guild."

"Oh yeah, the guild, uhh, we haven't got the money together yet, it's been tough without you, you know how it is."

"What about Ellie?"

"What about her?"

"Is she still sexy?"

Jonus grunted and stroked his forehead, he was beginning to get impatient with this huge man.

"Just… just follow me Ragnor."

* * *

Twenty Minutes later - Imperial City Market District - Merchants Inn

The group of six adventurers sat around the table in the dimly lit Inn. They had tried to convince Ragnor of the truth that he had been in prison for less than an hour, but gave up against the stubborn Nord in only a few minutes. Now Jonus had shifted the conversation subject to how they were going to gather five thousand drakes.

"This one knows of an ayleid ruin nearby." Said Ja'niir. "Vilverin. Surely there are many artifacts to be pilfered."

"No good." Said Jonus. "Me and Alana explored Vilverin a few days ago."

"The place was bare." Added Alana. "Not a single Welkynd stone, and more than a few undead."

"We could follow the road down to Anvil." Said Ellie. "The place has been crawling with bandits recently, We could collect on their bounties."

"No." Said Jonus. "We can't be sure we'd even run into bandits. How many bandits are going to be stupid enough to attack a group of adventurers… and Ragnor?"

"Well." Said Corwynn. "Before we get ahead of ourselves, what we really need is a place to sleep."

Jonus sighed and looked at the pitcher of wine in the table, which had cost the group their last two septims.

"Ragnor's bounty cleaned us out, so we can't afford to stay at an inn, even for a single night." Jonus looked up to Corwynn. "You seem pretty well off Corwynn, surely you have home we could sleep in for the night?"

"My home in Anvil was recently claimed by the Countess, as part of some 'expansion' project. I was given a sum of a thousand drakes and told to be gone, been sleeping at inn's ever since."

"Ellie?"

"I lived at the Arcane University before I was banned from the guild."

Jonus looked over at Ja'niir, who was already shaking his head.

"Well, I guess we can sleep under the stars for a few nights." Said Alana. "Me and Jonus are used to that."

"I Think not." Interrupted Corwynn. "I have no intentions of sleeping in dirt. You want to run a guild, then you had better supply a place for members to rest their heads."

"Skyrim Manor…" Said Ragnor suddenly, rising to his feet.

"What?"

"Skyrim Manor, me grandfather built it with his own hands."

"Ragnor." Said Alana. "Are you saying, that you own a manor."

"Of course, my grandfather was ambassador to Skyrim, he built a fabulous manor overlooking the Imperial City when he retired. He left it to my father and my father left it to me."

Jonus rose slowly to his feet and spoke.

"Ragnor. You… own a manor. You own a manor, and yet you couldn't even pay your own bail?"

Ragnor nodded.

"Ragnor… I'm going to hurt you."

Alana jumped to her feet and grabbed Jonus' arm, trying to defuse the situation.

"Well that's great news." She said loudly. "A place to sleep, isn't that great Jonus?"

Jonus slowly turned his head to look her in the eye.

"Yes." He hissed. "It's…fan…tastic."

"Great, we'll set off right away." She said.

"Yes." Said Jonus, still fuming. "That is what we will do. Yes."

Everything went silent for a few moments, until Ragnor, oblivious to Jonus' anger, shouted out.

"Follow me fellow adventurers! To Skyrim Manor!"

Ragnor, Ellie, Corwynn and Ja'niir left the table. Jonus And Alana were still standing there.

"I hate him." Said Jonus. "I hate him so much."

"Oh, Jonus, It will be alright."

"The man owns a manor overlooking the city, it must be worth a hundred thousand gold pieces, and yet he allows us to scrape our last septims together to free him from prison."

"Don't Worry Jonus, once we get this guild started everything will be okay."

"I'm starting to think this was all a terrible mistake Alana."

She just smiled and lead Jonus out of the Inn.

* * *

Two hours later – West of lake Rumare – Skyrim Manor

"You now." Said Jonus to Alana. "I'm actually half expecting this 'manor' to be a shack made of driftwood. I mean, how could Ragnor own a Manor?"

"Well you'd better hope he does, otherwise we'll never hear the end of it from Corwynn."

The six adventurers had made their way from the Imperial City, past Lake Rumare and through a trail in the Great Forest. They had begun to climb up a steep incline, and Ragnor announced that they were nearly there. Jonus and Alana trailed a little way behind, with Alana being forced to listen to Jonus' grumbling the whole trip.

The group eventually emerged from the woods, and Jonus was genuinely shocked. In front of him stood a two story mansion, in the middle of an acre large field. The house was built of wood painted white, and the grass on the field was a bright green and seemed perfectly kept.

"Ragnor." Gasped Jonus. "You… you…" He smiled. "You've really done us good Ragnor."

"Course you're all welcome to stay as long as ye like." said Ragnor proudly. "Might even let ye set up the guild here permanently."

"You mean it?"

"Of course. I ain't got no use for a house that big."

"Ragnor, I take back everything I said about you."

The group moved up to the house and entered into a large living area with a kitchen and and two private offices attached. Moving upstairs they found four large bedrooms, with enough beds for ten people.

"This is perfect." Said Alana.

"Hey!" Shouted Ellie from a balcony. "Come see this view!"

Alana and Corwynn walked out onto the second story balcony. Just over the treetops they could see the Imperial City, the White Gold Tower rising majestically from the centre.

Below the balcony Ja'niir stood in the front doorway.

"The grass, it is not possible without the assistance of magic."

"Aye." Responded Ragnor right behind Ja'niir. "This place is loaded with magic, keeps the grass neat, the paint from stripping, me grandpa didn't want to spend his retirement days looking after his house."

"Ragnor!" called Jonus from across the house. "Where does this trap door go?"

"That's where we keep the booze, we never run dry at Skyrim Manor."

Jonus lifted the trap door and was stunned.

"Ragnor, there's enough here to last a lifetime!"

"Or a week in my family HAHAHA!"

"Wait... Do you have any food?"

* * *

Forty minutes later – Great Forest near Skyrim Manor

Alana Slowly crept through the forest, her bow drawn and an arrow knocked, looking for any signs of deer or boars. Jonus on the other hand could barely stay on his feet in this rough terrain, and the noise he made as he crushed sticks and dried leaves underfoot had already scared away two deer. Alana was beginning to think she should have gone alone, but couldn't trust Jonus not to kill Ragnor if she left them in a house alone together.

"Jonus, I'm sure your plan of attracting game by making as much noise as possible bears merit, but perhaps we should try this my way for a little while."

"Oh ha ha." Jonus replied in a dry tone. "I'm a sword swinger, I don't do this hunting stuff."

"Yes I know, you use your shiny piece of metal to murder big monsters."

"And you sneak up on people and pick their pockets."

"Hey! I never did that."

Jonus looked at Alana and raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, I did it ONCE. But I... hold on, there's something up ahead."

"Deer?"

"No, Goblins I think."

"Goblins?" Jonus grasped the hilt of his sword.

"We'd better go..." Alana was interrupted by a thunderous cracking noise from beneath Jonus' boot. "Okay, I alone had better go and check this out."

"Don't forget to check their pockets."

"Shutup."

* * *

One hour later

"Goblins."

"Mind yer language!" Said Ragnor angrily.

"Wha... Ragnor!" Replied Jonus. "I said goblins, you know, scrawny little green things?"

"Oh... GOBLINS, I though you said... ahhh never mind."

"And what is the relevance of goblins?" Ask Ja'niir.

"We found some."

"'I' found some."

"Yes, thank you Alana. The point is, they're camped out at a cave nearby, if we wipe out those goblins, there's no telling what loot we may be able to find in that cave."

"Enough to pay the guild fee?" Asked Corwynn.

"I doubt it, but it would be a good start."

"So what's the plan?"

"The cave entrance is in the middle of the woods, there's a lot of tree coverage so hopefully they won't detect us on our approach, once we're close, me, Ragnor and Ja'niir charge them, Ellie and Alana can hit them from range, and Corwynn... well, you'll be on hand in case anyone is hurt."

"Sounds simple enough." Said Ellie.

"Goblins are a pushover." Added Alana. "This should be easy for us."

"Alright, let's get going, if we're lucky we can finish before nightfall."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later – Goblin cave

The six adventurers crouched in the foliage, watching the goblins, they had crept up to within thirty meters of the goblin position without being detected.

"Is everyone ready?" Jonus whispered.

"Aye, let's do this."

Jonus stood up and drew his sword, he looked back at his companions and saw they had weapons drawn and were ready for battle.

"CHARGE!"

* * *

Fifteen seconds later

"RETREAT!"

Jonus ran as fast as he could, dragging an unconscious and badly wounded Ja'niir behind him. Ragnor stumbled blindly into trees (snapping some of the unfortunate plants in two) He was clutching his face, an arrow protruding from between his fingers, embedded in his left eye. Alana and Ellie both ran, a torrent of arrows following them, some missing by only inches. Corwyyn crouched behind a tree, whimpering, waiting for Jonus and Ragnor to reach him.

Eventually, the six made it back to Skyrim Manor. Corwyyn was inspecting Ja'niir's wounds.

"Dammit! Help me get Ja'niir on a table, this is going to take a lot of potions." he said.

Jonus helped Corwynn Lift Ja'niir onto one of the two tables that Corwynn had setup in the infirmary, then looked around.

"We're lucky, Ja'niir was the only one badly wounded."

"I got an arrow sticking out of my face, I guess that doesn't count as wounded." said Ragnor sarcastically.

"You can wait Nord, you're not on a table bleeding to death."

Ellie and Alana entered the room.

"It doesn't look like the goblins followed us." Reported Alana.

"And if they do," Said Ellie. "They'll have a lot of open ground to charge over."

She looked over to Ragnor, spotting the arrow sticking out of his eye.

"Umm, Ragnor, are you okay?"

"What?" Replied Ragnor dumbfounded. "Oh... this." He said pointing to the arrow.

Ragnor gripped the shaft of the arrow and ripped it out, crying in pain. Alana, Jonus and Corwynn cringed at this act, Ellie on the other hand seemed excited. Then Ragnor reached into his pocket and produced his bag of sulphur. He began pouring some into his eye, cringing in pain.

"Umm, Ragnor." Said Jonus. "I don't think that's a very good idea... RAGNOR! NO NO NO!"

* * *

Two seconds later – Imperial City – The Office of Imperial Affairs

"Okay, just bring it in here."

The office worker who had spoken with the group earlier that day was supervising the installation of his new desk. Two laborers were lifting it and slowly moving it into position. The desk was particularly heavy and sturdy, a precaution against any future incidents. Suddenly a distant cry of pain was heard, one of the workers looked out the window in surprise, in the moment he was distracted, he accidently dropped his end of the desk, right onto the office worker's foot, eliciting a second, much closer cry of pain, though not nearly as robust as the first one that was heard.

"AGGGHHH! PICK IT UP PICK IT UP!"

The laborer picked up the desk in a hurry and the office worker stumbled back in his chair.

"MY FOOT! AGGH MY FOOT IS BROKEN! WHAT IN OBLIVION HAPPENED!"

* * *

Skyrim Manor

Jonus, Alana, Corwynn and Ellie stood there with their hands cupped over their ears and their teeth gritted (though Ellie was smiling). Ragnor on the other hand stood in the middle of the room, his hand over his burnt out eye socket, from which smoke was rising.

"…owww."

The Nord fell forward, the pain of burning out his eye apparently too much for even him to bear.

Corwynn took his hands off his ears and clenched the table top infront of him.

"Would somebody… please… get… him… OUT OF HERE!"

"Corwynn, I think we should…"

"NOW!"

Jonus didn't hesitate for another second, he and Alana started to drag the unconscious brute out into the hall (A difficult task given Ragnor's sheer mass). When they and Ellie exited the room, Corwynn slammed the door shut.

After a little while, Ragnor began to stir.

"What… what happened?"

"YOU BURNT YOUR EYE OUT WITH SULPHUR YOU IDIOT!"

Ragnor just smiled.

"Hehe… sulphur."

"IT'S NOT FUNNY! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!"

"Sulphur… he… hehe."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU NORD!"

Jonus clenched his fists as he shouted, Alana came up from behind and grabbed Jonus by the arm.

"Jonus, I think he's delirious, don't get angry."

"I KNOW HE'S DELIRIOUS! HE'S ALWAYS DELIRIOUS! NO STRAIGHT MINDED PERSON WOULD DO THESE THINGS!"

Ellie walked up and planted a hand firmly on Jonus' chest, Jonus glowed for a second and then took a more relaxed stance.

"Ahhh… Ragnor, you and your sulphur." Said Jonus in slightly slurred speech. "You know what we need? Drinks, let's go get some drinks."

Jonus stumbled over to the trap door by the kitchen. He opened the trap and then fell down the wooden stairway, tumbling head over heels, and landing at the bottom in a heap, with the trap door slamming shut behind him.

Alana stared blankly at the now shut trap door for a moment, before looking back at Ellie.

"Ellie… what did you do?"

"Ummm… I just cast a spell to calm him down, but I think it was too powerful."

Alana looked a the trap door, and then back at Ellie, "Can… can you teach me to do that?"

* * *

Twenty minutes later.

Jonus sat at the kitchen table, watching the sun set behind the trees through a window, and nursing the minor wounds he had taken from falling down the cellar stairs. Ellie sat to his right, stitching together a leather eye patch for Ragnor, who had fully regained consciousness and was also sitting at the table. Alana had left the house, adamant that she would catch dinner before sunset. In front of each of the three was a cup of mead. Ragnor drank to douse the pain of his injury, Ellie drank to pass the time, and Jonus drank to forget about Ragnor. All three sat in silence, even Ragnor couldn't bare a conversation with the pain he was feeling.

"All done." Said Ellie, holding up the eye patch.

Ragnor downed his drink in one shot and took the eye patch from Ellie, fixing it over his wound.

"How do I look?"

"You look like a moron who burnt out his own eye."

"You look fine Ragnor." Said Ellie. "Great even. The eye patch really goes well with your battle scars."

Jonus sighed and got up from the table. Ellie's macabre fascination with Ragnor's pain was beginning to disturb him. He walked over to the infirmary to check on Ja'niir. Corwynn had been in there for the last twenty minutes, tending to the Khajiit's wounds. Jonus opened the door and saw Corwynn standing over Ja'niir, wearing a blood covered apron, Ja'niir had been stripped naked so that Corwynn could bandage his wounds. Jonus just stared at the unconscious feline for a few moments.

"Holy hell! He's a woman?"

"Yes." Replied Corwynn. "And I'd appreciate if you closed the door, I'm operating here."

"Who's a what now?" Ragnor stepped behind Jonus and looked through the door way.

"AGGHH!" He shouted, stumbling back. "Khajiit bits! I didn't need to see that!"

"What's going on?" Ellie peeked through the door. "Oh dear… he… he… she?"

Corwynn stomped towards the door way and pushed back Jonus and Ellie, slamming the door shut.

"Nobody opens this door until I say so!" He shouted through the door.

Jonus looked at Ellie.

"But… the mane?"

"I thought Ja'niir was a male name?"

"I've only got one good eye left! I didn't need to see that!"

"What's all the commotion about?" Said Alana, stepping in through the front door, two dead rabbits hanging from her hand.

"Ja'niir is… is..." Jonus

"What? What Is she?"

"She… wait, you knew?"

"Knew what?"

"Ja'niir is a woman."

"Of course she's a woman. She comes from an all female sect of monks."

"Oh."

Alana sighed and shook her head. She stepped back outside, pulling a small skinning knife from her belt.

"Whatever, someone just get a fire started so we can eat."


End file.
